bottles

aack! this is happening! bottles!

i was talking to my friend, and it came out that we both had initiated labor with pumping and had both avoiding pumping so far. ha! we realized we didn't really want to go into labor again and subconsciously thought that pumping would do it! how hilarious.

realizing this was a big chunk of my problem, i went to the store to buy a pump. the "consultant" seemed convinced that i had missed the window to introduce bottles to oliver, but thought that i should buy a $300 pump to see how it works that i then can't return if it doesn't work. are you kidding me? please. girlfriend, you just lost this sale to amazon.

i walked out with the manual pump i walked in with, went home to pump a bottle, and then fed it to my baby. victory is mine, "consultant."

but then once those feelings left, i realized i was kind of sad about using that bottle. sad that my son is old enough now to take a bottle. and sad that now i'm not the only one who can feed him. 

but at the same time i couldn't wait for nik to come home so he could feed ollie. i was so excited that he could see our baby in this way. the eyes that study your face... the belly that gurgles... the hand that rubs your tummy.

as i imagined he would, nik looked so proud to be feeding little oliver. he joked that he could finally yield the milk oliver was seeking from nik's arm when i was out of the room.

it was a good afternoon. one that i want to remember.